Aug. 12. 2009
Oh yes, I'm very serious.
And... My Lugia collection on deviantart has reached 100 items, including the GIANT LUGIA PLUSH. There's only 5 known to man on the internet since their release date, net value $6,000. Luckly I found one from 1,000 hours of searching for a good $200 with shipping. I'm the luckiest person on earth, and very very soon will have giant raikou and giant suicune. They will be sold on ebay for top price. (Even more rare than a giant lugia if you can imagine, there's only ONE photo online of a giant Raikou- EVER... And one or two of giant Suicune- ever.)
Right now my computer is in my room, hooked up to my large old monitor and a tv. It's dual screens, and split so I can have more room. I go through 20 programs running AT ONCE occassionally, and am more fast than you can think with using computers. My knowledge has led me to actually be able to delete viruses without a virus program (do it all manually), and to professionally clean computers more than anyone I know could. Only internal files, I don't know any of the gadgets they're made out of. Sorry. But its nice, my bed is my chair, same place, same house in ole Michigan for one or two more years. There will be a friend meeting before I move out, I expect my bestest greatest friends to meet me here (all my online friends) before I leave.
And dark is a big coward, so he'll hide behind myself afraid of being attacked or something. I love him. Such a cuddily fraidy cat.
I don't look AT ALL the same as I used to, I have glasses now, and I cut my own hair and bleach it somewhat. Some times its permanent blue. Some times its not.
I've been talking to a few counselors lately, and found that my loss of contact with my greatest friends is my greatest emotional pain. It's say, like a family death to me if I hear from no one in two weeks. It's so much pain it backfires and causes me to not talk again, and to exclude friends from my list. I do know that Dark and Scarlet can be trusted. Fluffy might be, but it's also the messed up child hood and having my friends BE my family since I didn't really have one. No family members I am close to, my offline friends either said they wanted to watch tv or use some addiction instead of myself, and the drug addiction thing, loss of affection and contact due to it, being romantically attached to females since my mother's loss of affection towards me during parental divorce (not sexually. I mean in terms of why females may call friends their sisters or etc. type of *emotional connection/attraction thing). http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/relational_maintenance/public/love_styles.html I am Storge, and around 8% Eros and 1% Pragma.
=0 Well life is hard, difficult, I've lost many close in-person friends due to jobs/work/other friends/addictions as I considered my family members that my soul became lost and i've found myself here. Online friend disappearance is a raging fire within me. I must give my heart to my fiancee and not my friends so much. I'm not so sure what to do. I can only be forgiven, and since 2004 I am only changing for the better regardless of situation.
Good things will come. And i've switched diets from eating meats and veggies to pure starchy foods. I feel better, and instantly lost 50 lbs in two weeks. I'm becomming quite skinny, actually.
Pray for me to make enough money to support myself and lots more to help people in need, and to always have financial support. It'd be nice.
Journal
DarknessOfMemory
Best summer ever, becoming an even better fall. There's over a 90% chance I will marry a guy a girl deserves. We both dedicated to improving our relationship 24/7, no matter when, no matter what, and love life can't get better.
" I will be 100% faithful to you. I promise. "
Isn't it just amazing?! Both of us are that dedicated! It's amazing standing somewhere, and finally figuring out this guy's the one for you. I mean, it just comes out of no where. And you know you will be happy if forever is spent, and trust with your life. If you promise someone something, it can be promised back. Break a promise, break someone's emotions. It's a no-no. And you find you don't have to do any more work on finding more guys, you realize you can finally settle down or go for a long stroll. It takes a whole lot of trust to do everything online, but that's what makes online relationships special- somethings others probably lacked. Don't rely on mushy emotions, go out there for something more.
And before? No one really wanted to help our relationship, it was a completely different story. Man, get a virgo, libra rising. You wont be let down <3
I've never learned so much in my life since the past year. To know your not wasting your time any more, you have more time to relax. The things i've learned: I can't be able to type it all. I've got a new favorite music genre, it's called "euro dance", and still like "vocal trance" too.
Just a few things I've learned...
#1) Most important: Never break a good relationship
#2) Never break a relationship without hearing from the other side, both need agreement. Not one side. Ever.
#3) Promise, and never break a promise.
#4) Take chances.
#5) Patience.
#6) Never appear "cold" to another person.
#7) Romance CAN work with good relationships. Not clingy ness.
#8) Be leader.
#9) Never threaten the relationship in any way.
#10) Respect from both sides.
#11) Talk about what to improve the relationship openly.
#12) Speak lightly about anything that may bother you.
#13) Be honest. If someone lets you down, be open about it.
#14) Both agree to not be physical with other of the opposite gender.
#15) Very important- never commit before the male does.
#16) Agree if you feel like conflicting
#17) Support emotional needs of other.
#18) Trust.
ethia, someday you shall return...
California I move, 2 years. Maybe less. College is like heaven, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! It's not like high school at all, its actually quiet and mature. No yelling, or constant work- and classes that let you work on your own time. Work ahead, complete the test, you're done! :) Ooooooo I love college.
As for friends, I've made a great friend- besides dark. Her name's fluffy, she's from the UK. And man, we have some good times together IMing, our group of three or so. I'm a happy person. As for my items, everything's on sale on ebay. -hugs to dark-
Author's Notes
Hi. I'd apologize for not updating sooner, but I have semi-good reason. Been in a state of melancoly for a while. Not quite depressed, but not happy either. Lugia knows why, but I'm not sharing. Things have been rough for the past few months.
Dad is looking for work. He's already had an interview with someone, but they haven't called back yet. But here's hoping all works out okay. Some other opportunities have opened up as well; two are jobs he used to have.
Spring is really looking pretty. It was 80 degrees out Wednsday. Last night, though it snowed. It snowed! That's insane! It's April, it has been spring for about two weeks, it's not supposed to snow! I'm hoping that that was just a fluke, and that it starts getting warmer from here on in.
My friend from Georgia is in town. She, another and me have been conspiring behind our parents' backs. One of us is legal to drive (the other should be, but she's the chicken of the road) so we're planning to do whatever. There's not much to do here in town, but the theater's playing Robots this week, so we plan on dragging our legal driver (and yet another) to it.
I'm starting to hate being homeschooled. Not because of the work. No, I know my stuff, I get it done, that's not it. But it does get lonely from time to time. I wish I could go live in a state where I have family. I mean my Dad's here, but other than that. I miss my brother and sisters. And my niece and nephew. Truly, I just want to go home. I still say this place is an extended vacation in nowhere.
I'd miss this house though. It's nothing special but... a lot of work was put into it, a lot of love. I'll miss it, my friends, but nothing else.
Well, sorry to end on a sour note, but I've got to go. I'll rant at a later date. Maybe when I feel I little more chipper.
Till then, later days.
~Ethia
A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven. Then we'll all be together forever.
~Chris Nielsen; What Dreams May Come
